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| I don't suspect we will soon forget these scars on our lives that we're
going through. I'll update this Xanga in a few weeks again if I
decide to keep it.
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| An amusing conversation I had with Emily:
Emily Jamison: aw, is jon a little turned on?
ArticaVamp: No - I'm not -that- turned on. I'm too ti red to have an erection.
ArticaVamp: My blood doesn't have the energy to get to where it needs to go
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| Tonight I decided that I'm happy with Emily. Not just happy but thoroughly happy.
Today Emily and I hung out from like, 1:20 in the afternoon to 12:15 at
night. It rocked. I went over there, we hung out and uh... watched the
Olympics. Go team Lithuania? And then went to Northpark Mall. That
place is badass. I went into the Apple Store and picked up a new iTrip
for my iPod. Cheers to me listening to music in my car again. 
So, we're back at her house at like... 3:30? We watch Winnie the Pooh,
bake cookies, and just hang out. It was a good 5 hours of hanging out.
It was basically in that time I knew that life was good again. I goofed
off and talked to her mom for a while and watched as they baked cookies
(Sugar and Double Chocolate Chip?). It was great. It was a lot of fun.
So we spent a lot of time just goofing around and talking and hanging
out. It was a good way to spend the afternoon.
Later (8:30?) we went to the Mormon Dance down on Roundrock, spent an
hour there, then we made a slurpee run. It was some good
slurpee-licious stuff. Finally after all the driving we finished by
stopping at her house and watching Shrek. I love that movie. Guster and
Shrek have carried between all my girlfriends, but ya'know... Emily
just gets it. =D
In the time that was today I knew that I was authentically happy again.
I learned a few valuable lessons over the last few months via Sarabeth
mainly, and I'm glad I had the learning expirience.
One of her mistakes I learned from is to not let your relationship
completely overpower your life. Don't make their happiness be your
number one key importance. That's not to say it shouldn't be important,
but don't blindly follow and say "I live for you" because you'll regret
it. So that's a plus that we don't see each other everyday. It gives me
reason to look forward to talking to her because I rarely get to see
her. The weekends, and that's it, as opposed to some people who see
each other everyday. Which is good for them, but it's too much for me.
And it does stink that sometimes (Actually right now) things can be
iffy on whether we're gonna see eacho ther for a week or two, but
absence makes the heart grow fonder, ya know? So I can talk to her and
by just seeing her once a week it doesn't kill the relationship via
"I've seen you too much... I'm just sorta sick of you now". Plus while
we're happy together it doesn't blindly attach two people. We're free
from each other and we're happy.
Another lessons that I learned about myself is that I'm a real pushover
for money. That can be good and that can be bad. With Sarabeth it ended
up bad, with Emily it's good. Sarabeth seemed to grab my wallet and
when she said "So, you wanna get this...?" I'd basically say "How
high?". I don't really regret doing that because if it makes Sarabeth
happy to go to Friday's or have a Coldplay CD then well, why not. But
the important thing is it shouldn't have come from me. It
should've been a gift or a night on the town from some one else. I did
it, and I can't ch ange it. I just now know that I need to control
myself sometimes. Luckily Emily recognizes that. I'm a boyfriend now,
though, not just something I wanted to be - something I'll lucky enough
to be with Emily. So, that's my job occasionally. That's what
boyfriends do - but the girlfriend lunch or dinner, take them to the
movies and pay for it, and be greatful all the while knowing "Man, I'm
lucky to have a girlfriend this great."
I just feel like I've found some one who I should in fact be with.
We've got the same humor, we both love Shrek, and ya'know - she
mentioned that I said that I'm not generally and upbeat or happy
person, but she hasn't seen that in me since she got home from Michigan
- Well, there's a reason for it. It's because I'm feeling genuinely
happy again. I put out and I get returns and I'm happy with how things
are going right now. Really happy.
So, that's my long post for the night.
Edit -
P.S. - Here's the picture of Jillian with Einstein
P.P.S. - I'll clean up this whole post and make it readable tonight. It
was like 1 in the morning and I was just writing stream of concious
about how I felt at that moment.
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| Alright - This is right at Emily - I don't know how late I can call you
at nights since you generally get me on my cell phone I don't have to
think about it but come like... 9:30 I was just like "well crap...
Should I call her? I dunno what she's doing tonight..."
So here I am at 10:12 and not knowing when it's too late to call your
house since you know, you've got a 1.5 year old there and all that
tasty stuff.
So you know - can I find out what times I can call you at night?
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| I suspect I'm just having delusions of grandeur, but I'm hoping that I
can talk my dad/mom/sister into going to Austin with me on the weekend
of September 11th to see Guster.
So the grandeurish idea is that I can bring friends and get two hotel rooms.
a rough list of the people I'd want to go (Yeah, they're all girls...
which is a problem since the two rooms would be Me and my
dad/mom/sister and a room for the females OR we'd be coming back home
and getting back at 3-4 in the morning). Anyway - So here goes:
Emily
Jillian
Sarabeth
Victoria
Barbara?
Tim? (The Victoria thing)
I just need people who could possibly want to see Guster that weekend
and I know everyone in band can't go to Dallas's concert so the moral
of the story is - I have to see Guster and this would rock my
world.
But see the problem is we only have 4 seats in the car plus the driver.
Alright - So people should talk to me about this, IM me or something
and give me a definite No or not so I can knock yuo off the list.
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